Chinese Antics

The last post wasn't very "fun".  It was more like I was reading you an itinerary in order to sell a trip to you.  Which I could do - I'd be a great travel agent! (life goal!? ahh that's another post), so I'm going to try to make up for it, restimulate readership, if you will.

So here are a few tales of more misadventures that I seem to always find myself having!

¥   Before going to China I had watched 'The Last Emperor'.  This, however; proved to be good and bad.  It's an amazing movie, if you have several hours to spare, you should watch it, but it built up impossible expectations in my head.  Ever since going to Egypt (my favorite place in the world!) nothing has been able to compare to how much history I could feel there.  I've been on and on about feeling history in all of my China posts.  But it's my thing, get over it.  So I watched the movie, saw the big sights: where the last Emperor lived and played and was; and I wanted to walk around feeling the history of the grounds, the sorrow of the rulers, the troubles of the people, the power of the nation.  But, what I felt was hundreds of Chinese shoving me out of the way, pushing through me as if I wasn't there, charging the field! or throne room. I felt... pissed off.  YOU ARE RUINING HISTORY FOR ME!!  Peeing on the wall of an ancient ruin is not appropiate!  Spitting outside the throne of an emperor is not appropiate!  Ahhhh!! I had to fight to back.  So what did I do?  I shoved back too!  I fought my way into the very middle of the beast so I could do as the Chinese do - pull out my big camera, snap a picture or two and move on is if history was just a slide show and not the foundation of all of us.  

I look a bit distraught in this picture, but really I was loving it!! The Chinese didn't know what to do with me!! I even emerged from the huddle to sprawl out on the ground in triumph!!  Winning!

¥   People take "jumping photos".  They're just jumping off of things, but they tend to look quite cool.  So I wanted to give it a try, and why not try it at the Great Wall of China.  It was hot - Satan himself was probably sweating that day! and we'd been doing some serious hiking.  So why not do some jumping to take a break... hahaha let's exert more engery to bound off of a stationary object, projecting ourselves into the air to get a picture that will look maybe, hopefully, probably not cool, but we'll give it a go!  Well, we did it.  It turned out to be a good laugh trying to work out the timing, safe locations (we were jumping around on a crumbling wall that is thousands of years old!), and non-doofus faces.  We were able to get a few good ones, but I'm going to conclude this experience with the judgement that I do NOT have the coolness to pull it off.  

¥  National Museum of China.  I can't say more about that place!!  I've already written about it, but it's just worth mentioning again!! 

¥   Our last day in Beijing, Zac and I wanted to hit up one more spot before calling it quits and going to pack up for the next city; we went to Bei Hai Park to look at the grounds and see the sights inside.  Except my guide book didn't have a map of the park and the park didn't have a map of the park, so we just wandered.  Wandered to nowhere!!  We were finding nothing!!  Eventually we found our way to Jade Island, but on Jade Island we found nothing as well!  What we found was sweat, a lot of it- and we were the ones doing that!! not ancient China!  Useless.  I had to break down and bust out the Chinese style of 'shirt up, belly out'!  I was dying!!  I got a few looks, but I was happy to take the looks to feel some air on my skin!  An hour into the park we were ready to give up!  Hell, we hadn't found anything!  The chances of finding anything were looking less and less!  No bother, it was time well spent talking, walking and sweating!!  But we did find one thing of interest!  A decorative pool!  

Me: How much will you give me if I jump in right now.

Zac: (face goes dead serious) My wallet, and everything in it.

Me: peeing with laughter.  Why?  Heat exhaustion?  I don't know, but it was the best line to break the frustration the heat and the emptiness that the park had caused.  We did scare the Chinese who were standing around us. They walked off a little faster than normal pace. :)

¥   In Hong Kong we got lunch to go from M&S and metro-ed over to Statue Square.  We had gotten sandwiches for lunch that were really good, but mine had more bread on it than I cared to eat.  But you know who did want to eat it!? The birds in front of me.  So I tossed out a crumb and two birds were on it like madness.

Michael: That's illegal.

Me: No, it's not there's not sign.

Michael: Yes, it is.

Me: No, it's not, if it were it'd be posted. I'm just feeding birds, not littering.

Michael: Those policemen over there are going to arrest you.

Me: Let them try! (said as I tossed a piece of bread that stuck to my finger and ended up nailing the guy sitting next to us having lunch! eeee!!  My bad?!)

The next day we go to the Botantical Gardens and Zoological Park and what do we see posted?

I hate it when he's right!

¥   The first room we stayed in in Hong Kong was a jail cell.  Not joking.  I'm sure actual prisoners have better cells than that room!  It was not the nicest, but it was a private room and Michael and I could unwind without having to worry about bothering other people.  Which was good because we got a bit giddy before bed.  The room was shaped like a deformed 'L' with the bathroom filling in the missing bit.  There were no windows, so once the lights were turned off the place was in complete darkness.  I'm not afraid of the dark. I just like to have a little light so I can see what's coming.  In this room you couldn't see anyting, and what I couldn't see coming was Michael sneaking out of bed to lean over me and continuously scare the pants off of me!!  But I got him back!  What he didn't see coming was my right fist. 

¥   Speaking of Michael... he's a great guy!  A really great guy, but sometimes he lacks emotional sympathy (he'll say so too).  So one night after a being a bit bothered by events, Michael only had fuel for the fire.  Except it wasn't upsetting, it was hilarious.  We were in opposites beds, both in top bunks, a few feet apart engaging in a brother-sister like punching match!!  At one point I leaned so far out of my bed to hit him that I felt I was going to fall to the floor!  We're laughing and punching each other like we were in a private room with no one to see us and judge.  But we weren't in a private room! we were back in a dorm room and our bunkmates were in the room just watching this go down not sure what to make of the two of us fools.

 

China you were good to us!