You know the saying 'Fight or Flight'? Well for me it was more 'Flee or Pee'.
At least that's how I felt when I was trying to keep myself in a motionless state while a laser danced across the corneas of my eyeballs. Flee or pee!
I was close to doing a bit of both when I had LASEK corrective eye surgery back in March (3/8), but thankfully I did neither!
Pre-surgery
My eyes were bad. Which, as I've learned is an expression that everyone likes to apply to their eyeballs should they be anything below a -2.00. But trust me when I say mine were really, really, reallllly bad.
For a visual look at what it was like to be me without contacts, have a look at this site. Change the level of blur setting to the very top, 20, and you'll see how life looked to me.
Pre-surgery, my eyes required corrective lenses 24/7. I wasn't in the -2.00 or even the -4.00 range. I was 2x that in horribleness.
These were my contacts. Left -7.50, Right -9.00. As I said, realllllllly bad.
So when I was initially considering having laser eye surgery, I gave it only a 10% chance that I'd even qualify for the procedure. But I was going to give it a shot! I tossed my contacts and wore my glasses for 2 weeks (to allow my eyeballs to go back to their natural shape. Did you know wearing contacts changes the shape of your eyeball? I did not!) and set my appointment for the preliminary exams.
The exam includes about 10 tests that have to be done in order to determine whether or not a person is a candidate for surgery. Some of them were the standard tests you do during regular check-ups at the eye doctor:
- cover one eye and read the chart // cover the other eye and read the chart
- focus on the fuzzy barn without blinking while the machine records something
- stare into the middle of the spherical machine and click the mouse every time you see a tiny, faint flash around the perimeter of the device
But others were new:
- hold still while an eye care assistant pokes your eyeball with a tool to measure cornea thickness
- sit for 5mins, with your eyes closed, with a strip of paper hanging off your eyeball to measure tear production
- stare into a machine and try not to blink when a puff of air is shot into your eye
Start to end the tests took over an hour and were all heaps of fun. Especially having to repeat the air puff test 3 times because, ooops I wasn't so good at that one. Why wouldn't I want to let you shoot something into my eye! Sounds like a great way to measure whatever it is you're measuring!
Luckily my vision and eyes met all requirements! My vision (per eye) was still under -10.00 (the cut off), my corneas were of an acceptable thickness and... this is Korea! A quick chat with the eye care assistant about which procedure to have, when to have it and without any hesitation or concerns I was set up for surgery the following Thursday.
I was taken to see the doctor so that she could have a quick look at my eyes and confirm which procedure I was going to have done. Thinking back on it now it's a bit unsettling that they were asking me which method I wanted. I am not the doctor. I have only done research on the internet. I am not the one to be offering the majority opinion as to which laser should be used to zap away corneal cells!! But it's nice they asked?!
After my meeting with the doctor, I was told to use a certain type of eye drops 4x a day and to pay half the surgical fee.
So easy. Too easy. Making the decision to have LASEK was no more challenging than choosing which black purse to carry - tote or cross body (in guy speak that's like saying brown shoe or black shoe). You'd think - I thought - it'd be more of a discussion, more of a process. Apparently not in Korea.
I did do a fairly large amount of research on my own. I feel comfortable saying I read through the entire Google search result for 'LASEK' and I'm sure I pushed my friend, Joshua, to murderous desires with how many questions I asked him about how his procedure went back in December.
So I might have made the decision quickly and easily, but I was ready and prepared.
The week leading up to the surgery lots of people asked me if I was nervous or scared. I wasn't. I didn't even think about it much. Not even on the day of surgery. I wasn't nervous until I walked through the doors of BGN - which is a palace of an eye care facility! This blog is all in Korean, but you can see from the pictures how amazing BGN is.
Surgery
I paid the last half of the payment, redid a few preliminary tests and was asked to wait. When it was my turn; my glasses and cell phone were taken from me, my shoes removed and I was taken by the hand and lead into the operating area where a triad of medicines were dropped onto my eyes and all the nurses kept coming up and staring/commenting on how small my face is. A good pre-surgery pep talk!
Eventually I was deposited in a serene waiting area. While there I was visited by my doctor. Our exchange went something like this:
Dr: Hi Meagan, do you remember me?
Me: ... (yes, but I don't have a clue what your name is. I could guess one of the 5 common last names, but it's probably not a good idea to insult you right before you take control of the laser so)... Yes! How are you?
Dr: I'm good. Are you nervous.
Me: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr: Don't worry, see you in there.
Me: (I can't see you now, I better be able to see you after!) Ok!
I waited another few minutes before a nurse came and guided me into the operating room and helped me onto the table.
>>>>> This is where I wanted to flee! <<<<<
All that was running through my head was "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!" and how my friend, Sharon, had said that when she had her surgery she wasn't able to keep her left eye focused on the green light, and as a result her vision in that eye isn't as good as the other!! WTF!! "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!"
I laid in silent agony as the doctor or nurses draped my eye and started attacking my eyeball with an overwhelming amount of washes and medicines. Then all too soon it was:
Dr: Meagan are you ready?
Me: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr: You'll be fine just look straight at the green light.
Me: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Dr: Ok, let's start.
>>>>> This is where I wanted to pee! <<<<<
Me: Ok.
FFFFfffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although my left eye has a lower prescription, it is my weaker eye. Where are the body straps?! Where are the drugs!!! I was beyond freaking out at this point. Having already completed half of the surgery, I was no more comforted than when we began. Now, more than ever, Sharon's voice kept telling me how her left eyesight is the worse of the two. FFffffffffffff!!! Focus on the light. Focus on the light! Green Light!! Green lig... omg i can't see it!! Where'd it go!!!
Dr: Meagan don't move.
Me: Mmmmhmmm...
My body was screaming with a desire to run! My nails were cutting into the palm of my hand. Where's was the green light!!
Dr: Meagan don't move. I'm almost done.
Me: Ok...
Dr: Done.
She's done! Thank you Jesus!! It was over in under 15mins - the scariest 15mins of my life!
Post-surgery
Protective lenses were placed on my eyes to help them heal following the surgery and I was given a bulk supply of artificial tears, three kinds of eye drops and super sweet protective eyewear to tape to my face at night! Hottttt!
Unfortunately, the protective lenses were causing more pain than they were helping so on the second day after surgery I went back to the clinic and had to have them removed (mother ffffffffffffer that hurt) and new ones put in. Things were a lot better after that!
It's now been six weeks since I had my surgery and my vision is good, my eyes are healing and I'm down to one set of medical drops.
The question I get the most is 'How are my eyes? Are they better than before?'. I'm not sure how to answer question. Not because I wouldn't recommend the procedure - Do it!! Play with lasers and fight the urge to flee or pee - but because are they better than before? I still have good and bad days. There are times when soft features, like faces, far away are blurry, small objects are hard to focus on and bright lights are painful; but the main reason why I can't answer that question is because I feel as if I see just as well NOW as I did when I wore contacts.
So in a way I guess my eyes are great! Because they are seeing clearly, unaided!
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