Time to Sign

Well I did it.  I renewed.

It was nothing fancy.  No formal gathering of the school's top heads.  No trace of celebration.  Definitely no 'congratulations', 'so excited', 'looking forward to it'...

Just: "Time to sign".

My co-teacher walked up, put the contract in front of me, said "time to sign" and walked away.

At this point, it is a bit foolish on my part to have expected any sort of emotional presentation.  That sort of silly thing just doesn't occur here.  So me, a foreigner, choosing to stay another year - at the same school - why would that cause even a smile from those with whom I work?!  (I would hope that at the very least a smile did cross their faces, but since I physically saw none, I'm going to use that angle in this post to give it more of a dramatic flair.  Please allow this "artistic" exgraggeration! ^^)

 

However, a presentation of emotions did occur - on my part.  

And it was panic.  Lots of it.  Pure fear.  Coupled with shaky hands and difficulty breathing.  

This document, those pages, each line and every word was binding me to another year.  Another year at the same school, with the same shifty schedules and endlessly changing sets of information... Why?!  Why re-sign?!

Because the first year has been so good!?  Oh no! No, no, no!!!  The first semester was hell!  The adjustment was a bit difficult, at times co-teaching was an absolute, unwinnable challenge and the children - God love them - really can be monsters.

But... I do love it.  I love the children.  I like teaching.  I like acting for them and making them see the lesson and gain an understanding of both the lesson's topic and the language.  And this second semester has been a dream!

But even with things going so well lately, I'm still a bit panicked for next year.  

When people left in August at the change of contracts, I did not handle it well.  And come this February, half - HALF!!!!! - of the people that came in with me have choosen not to stay on another year.  

That's a lot of change.  That's a lot to lose.  

In addition to people leaving, I'll be leaving the comfort of teaching science.  Throughout this entire first year I have not taught once from the English textbook.  Not a lesson.  And now it is the content of my entire upcoming academic year.  Clearly no reason to panic here.  I'm well prepared.  Bring it on Korea!  eeeeee :-/

 

I will be fine though.  It will be a great year.  No doubt full of ups and downs.  But...   'Congratulations' to me!  'I'm so excited' for me!  I really am looking forward to it!